Tag Archives: Love

At Peace

I think this is literally the first time in my life I have been at PEACE. I am a person who deals with a lot of anxiety and some times I make myself cray thinking about the things that I can not change and control. This year I decided that all of that was going to stop and that I would no longer live my life as such. I started off my year being the same old me with all of my anxiety and so on but one day I got down on my knees and decided to pray. The prayer that I prayed was for God to help me with my anxiety, and allow me to be more grateful for the things that I have and STOP harboring over the things that I don’t have. I also asked God to help me be more positive in all situations and always find the good in anything that is thrown my way. I also promised to stop looking at what other people were doing in their lives and just focus on myself.

My goal in 2018 is to put 110% energy, mental and physical, into myself. Ever since I have prayed this prayer and really been trying to be more positive, my whole attitude has been totally different. I have never felt better before. I am so at peace with myself and my life than I have ever been in my life. It has only been about a week since I prayed this prayer, but when I tell you that since that week I have been thrown some curve balls (including me getting robbed in Trinidad)…I have been thrown some massive curve balls that were meant to take me down. BUT someway, somehow I haven’t felt anxiety or depression rather just Peace and Joy!!!

I say this to say, that being at Peace isn’t something that you can’t have too. You need to strive for it and really work on it. You need to identify and eliminate the things that is causing you not to have peace in your life. A habit, a person or a place that you’re in, whatever it is, nip it in the bud immediately. And last but not least, pray with an honest and open heart for peace and stillness.

The Complexity of Men

 

As I sit here just thinking out loud and thinking about a few things that I have been faced with in 2017 I wanted to come and write a post about something that I’ve been failing to understand…

Men want a successful woman, but just not one who is more successful than them. They want a woman who is independent but they want to feel needed. They want a woman who has money but just not more money than them.

As I exited my last relationship these were a few of the issues that I was faced with. Having someone tell me they felt inferior to me because of everything I was working hard to do and because I didn’t “need” them for anything was confusing and somewhat hurtful. Being that I’ve always believed that a woman could make more than a man, be independent and still value that man all the same, hearing something as such really left me perplexed.

Do I dim my light so that I can be with the man that I really want to be with? Do I pretend to “need” a man when my parents have taught me to be independent and make a way for myself?

One thing that I’ve never wanted for myself was to be with a man and if he leaves, I have not a pot to piss in. With me being in grad school and pursuing my MBA, it is a shot for me to make sure that I am financially secure for the rest of my life. Having my own is very important to me because then I know no one can take it away from me.

Prior to this experience I have tried to not judge others by their degrees, their financial situations and what their job titles were. I’ve always felt that if you have a good heart, you were hard working and treated me well, then you and I could be together. Now that I’ve gone through my experience, I’m beginning to realize why the Bible says we should be equally yolked. Moving forward I’ve realized that I have to pick men with credentials similar to mine, not because I’m being a snob or bougie but rather because most men can’t handle not being the financial “top dog”.

Yayoi Kusama: Infinity Mirrors

“When we obliterate nature and our bodies with polka dots we become part of the unity of our environments” – Yayoi Kusama

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The great thing about living in a major city is that there is ALWAYS something new and fun to do.

The most recent hot spot in DC has been the Hirshorn for its Infinity Mirrors Exhibit! After a month of trying, I was finally able to get tickets to the the Yayoi Kusama: Infinity Mirrors exhibit. Although the tickets are free, they are extremely hard to get and they usually sell out in two minutes.

 

About the Exhibit

This specific exhibit, Infinity Mirrors, is called as such because of Kusama’s use of mirrors to give the illusion that the space is much bigger than it really is.  In all actuality, the art is broken up into small rooms and can only fit a small number of people in it at a time.

What you need to know before you go

Despite having timed passes the lines to visit each room is very long. The museum allows small groups of people to enter each room at a time and you are only allowed 20 seconds in each room. They do not allow you to bring in any bags, food or liquids into the rooms.

There is other art…

Although the Infinity rooms are the main attraction, the Hirshorn features other art from Kusama that allows for some really great photo ops as well.

Final thoughts of the exhibit

This exhibit is amazing. If you can get tickets I say go! The lines were a nuisance and because of it I wasn’t able to see every room. Having 20 seconds in a room was annoying because you couldn’t really get a chance to take in what you were seeing. By the time you had a chance to admire, and appreciate the art work, they were opening the door and carting in the next group. In order to ensure that you have some memories one needs to walk in with their camera in hand and start snapping away immediately. There is no time to think about your pose and perfect angle.

Although overshadowed, the free standing art is something to be admired as well especially the polka dot room. The polka dot room was my favorite space because each visitor was given a set of polka dot stickers and told to put them anywhere in the room!

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South Africa Part 9: Our last day in Cape Town

Our last day in Cape Town we spent the day at Green Market Square. The day before we had asked one of our servers  where was a good place for us to purchase South African souvenirs at a cheaper price. He said Green Market Square was the place to go. Since we only had a few more hours left in Cape Town until we departed, we ate a small breakfast and made our way to Green Market Square. We called an Uber and he dropped us off right by the square

Once we walked up, there were several different vendors and most of them were selling the same things. Initially I thought that each vendor had hand crafted, painted or sewn each item, but as I walked around I realized that they all had the same exact items. But this was not that big of a deal to me because the items were very nice nonetheless.

What is good about Green Market Square is that you can negotiate prices with the vendors. What is bad about Green Market Square is that you can negotiate prices with the vendors. What do I mean? Well first off it is always a good thing when you can talk down a price but some times this can lead to vendors haggling you, giving you their life story about how much they are struggling or even you feeling guilty that you asked for a cheap price on an item (this was my case, I felt really bad asking for lower prices). It was a bit overwhelming when we were walking around the different booths trying to decide what to get. I wanted to get everything, but of course I could not. It was also overwhelming because as soon as I would go up to look at an item more closely I was then bombarded with the vendor asking me a ton of questions or saying things to me to try and make me buy it. I mean I get it. This is how people make their living and as a person from a third world myself I respect the hustle, but sometimes I just want to browse and decide on my own.

Nonetheless we ended up getting some real good items to bring back to America. Some of the vendors actually take credit cards, but most only take cash. We ran out of cash at one point in time so we had to go to a local ATM to get some more. Since Green Market Square is in a busy part of Cape Town finding an ATM was not hard at all.

 We purchased kente clothe bags, necklaces, cups, dashikis, key chains, and so much more. Here are just some of the items that we purchased. Unfortunately I did not think to take any pictures of Green Market Square myself (still trying to get use to documenting everything) but I went ahead and googled some images of the square so that you could get the idea of what it was like.

South Africa Part 8: Discovering Cape Town

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After our tour of Robben Island we decided to go  to lunch and walk around Cape Town a bit. Unfortunately I did not take as many pictures as I should have during this leg of our day. We stayed down by the water front and took in the atmosphere of this tourist town. We walked around and grabbed lunch at a restaurant right by the water front. The wait staff was very polite and was very attentive. As I said in other posts, service in South Africa is top notch and the people who work in service seem to be extremely grateful to be serving customers.

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People walking around the water front of Cape Town

After we ate we proceeded to walk around and take in the atmosphere. We went to the mall and saw how similar the mall in Cape Town felt to the malls in America.  We also got a chance to take a picture with one of the signs that says “Table Mountain”, with the back drop obviously being Table Mountain. These signs are actually sprawled out around Cape Town for tourists to take pics with.

The first thing that I would say that I didn’t not expect while in Cape Town was the obvious European influence in its architecture (obviously if you know the history of South Africa this isn’t that surprising). Even though I haven’t been to Europe yet, I could imagine, that this is how some places there would look. Although there are a lot of Black people in Cape Town, I would say I was also surprised at the diversity. There were Indians, Chinese, and White people. It felt a little bit like Trinidad to me.

South Africa Part 5: The Wedding

The morning of the wedding I woke up after three hours of sleep and headed to my sisters cottage to begin the prepping for the day. I got my makeup and lashes done and all of us bridesmaids began doing what we had to do to get my sister ready for her big day. It was December 31st so this meant that we would be bringing in the new year with family and friends and celebrating my sisters big day!

 

My sister’s wedding was extravagant. It was truly a dream wedding. From the flowers, to the food, to the Rolls Royce that was sent to pick her up, everything was perfect. Her wedding was held at the Val De Vie Polo Club. As mentioned before ,this place is most well-known for Prince Harry taking part of polo matches. This club is in the wine lands and is surrounded by beautiful mountains and made for a beautiful backdrop for my sister’s wedding day. There was a cocktail hour where servers passed around an array of fresh cooked foods (so fresh that I burned my tongue). The servers were also taking requests of any drink that one wanted. Champagne was flowing as a marimba band played. There was also a caricature artist who was drawing pictures of guests. Once the wedding space was opened up to guests we were met with a beautiful place setting with our names on it. We also had a three course meal and an open bar that seemed to be stocked with everything and anything. The servers were amazing. I can not stress how grateful I was to those who worked my sister’s wedding because their kind nature, willing spirit and overall good attitude made the evening that much more pleasant. As midnight struck we all entered the new year together. It definitely was a magical night.

28

The day after Thanksgiving was my birthday and leading up to it I was filled with such excitement and joy. No, I wasn’t having a big birthday bash (which I never do because my friends are always out of town or with their family during Thanksgiving break) nor was I going on some special trip to celebrate. But what made me happiest about turning a year older was the fact that for the first time in my life I feel like my life is moving in the right direction, and as more time passes and the older I get, I am becoming the person that God has intended me to be. After I turned 24, I would always feel a sense of sadness and anxiety about getting older because I felt that I wasnt doing enough in my life. I would look at others and what they were doing and wish that it was me achieving more at that age. But now those feelings have been dispelled and I get filled with joy and excitement when I think about getting older and my future! I have been working on a few things that I know will make my life better and Im at the point where I just want to see the me two years from now when everything Ive been working towards come to pass.

The year between 27 and 28 has been such an amazing journey. I have had  friends and family members tell me how they have really been able to see a change in me and how proud they are of me for it. Who would have thought that a really bad break up, a crappy job and a new amazing boyfriend would have led me to have such an amazing year! A golden year at the age of 27! A year of exploration, finding myself, and finally feeling comfortable and confident in my own skin!

Im realizing now, that getting older isnt so bad if you have family and friends who love and support you. Just enjoy each part of the journey and always remember to strive to make each year GOLDEN!

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The man who made my 28th birthday special.