Tag Archives: black girl magic

MBA Chronicles : Scared outta my MIND

 

Have you ever been so afraid to do something major in your life that, that doubt prevents you from achieving your goals? This is something that I am being forced to overcome while pushing ahead with my MBA ambitions.

It is so crazy, because this is what I have wanted so badly for the last four years, and yet now that I am here, I am scared out of my mind. With every pre-course that I work on and with every case study that we are given to review, I feel more and more nervous that this is something that I can not do. I keep thinking, is this normal? Why am I doubting myself so badly?

I think part of the reason all of these feelings have been rushing in is partly because I was not mentally prepared for how much work I was going to have to do prior to school starting. I believed that I could have one summer of just chilling with no job, waking up when ever I wanted, until school started….WRONG.

This MBA program hasn’t even officially started and I have already turned in several assignments, taken several tests, and done so much research and preparation for my career aspirations.

Daily it is one thing after another ,and to be quite frank it is a bit overwhelming. BUT, although I am overwhelmed it is showing me that there are a lot of things that I need to improve on once I enter school.

The first thing being NOT PROCRASTINATING. Part of the reason I am in this extremely stressed space that I am in is because I went to Trinidad for two weeks and instead of doing work, I sat around all day and limed (Trini term for hanging out) with my family. Once school starts I obviously will have to step my game up and sacrifice sleep, and down time to do school work.

The second thing is my TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. I need to do a better job managing the time that I carve out dedicated to school work. There have been several days when I say I am going to wake up by a certain time to get work done and then I don’t start it until late.

The third thing is IMPROVE NOTE TAKING. I am the type of person who likes to take down super detailed notes. This has proved to be ineffective for me as I spend hours and hours just writing stuff down and not getting through the content quick enough. This ties back to TIME MANAGEMENT because I literally waste precious time writing things that may not necessarily need to be written down.

The fourth thing is STAYING POSITIVE. I don’t know why I am so hard on myself. I don’t know why I have a hard time looking for the good in stressful situations and striving past complaining. I think that with me being in an MBA program I don’t have time to be negative and to beat myself up. I need to ALWAYS stay positive, find a solution and work towards it.

As I work towards a better future for myself I have to remember this one thing, I CAN DO THIS, and I WILL DO THIS. 

MBA Chronicles: Power of THE PUSH

 

I am two weeks away from business school orientation and I feel like I have a million and one things to get done. My to do list comprises of finishing up pre-course work, back to school shopping, getting my immunization records to the school, deferring my loans, buying stuff for my new apartment, registering for “Math Camp”, doing work for the career services team, and so much more.

The pre-course workload is way heavier than I thought it would be and I’m starting to regret going on vacation and doing nothing for two weeks. Usually in situations like these I would get 1) super flustered  2) just quit and say I’m not doing it and just take the 0% grade. But it’s crazy when you want something bad enough you will somehow find your inner grit, and get sh*t done. Yesterday I had a very late start to my day (my sleep pattern is way off ever since returning from vacation). I went to the library around 5pm and started doing work. I went home right before the library closed at 9pm, and kept doing work. Before I knew it, it was 2:30am! Between the hours of 5pm-2:30am I dedicated my time to my school work. Was I tired? Hell yes, but what kept me motivated was my end goal of making six figures after I graduate, and how badly I want to reach that goal.

In undergrad I wasn’t the best student, but I wasn’t the worst. When I applied myself I made Deans List 4 out of the 8 semesters I was there. I slept a lot in undergrad and hardly ever stayed up past 12am studying. If something was hard I’d bullsh*t my way through it to get a decent enough grade. Back then I was too lazy to see the importance of hard work. Fast forward to today, Ive had a 9-5 job in corporate America that I hated. I have been underpaid for most of my career and the work that I was doing was not interesting to me at all. Going through that experience really has given me the ” The Power of the Push”. 

I’m not sure where I got this term from, maybe I made it up…but this is a term that has been repeating in my head over and over again since I’ve been in this season. “The Power of the Push” is what separates great from mediocre, the strong from the weak, and those who want it to those who don’t.

For most of my life I have always felt as though there are just some people who just succeed because they are simply smarter. As I navigated through corporate America, I realized that its not about smarts all the time. Its about who works harder, who wants it more, who pushes harder to get what they want. I mean a great example of this is Donald Trump. His vocabulary is limited, he isn’t well read, and he isn’t the smartest cookie in the batch but some how he has been able to elevate himself to the highest office in the United States (granted him being a white man has probably helped a lot too, lol).

My will to succeed is so strong that I can not see anything except GREAT things ahead of me. I am willing to put my blood, sweat, and tears into this. Something that I can’t say Ive been willing to do for anything in my life thus far. So as I begin my business school career I am going to promise myself to keep pushing, to not allow outside factors disrupt my grind, and to always remember the POWER of the PUSH!!!

Oversharing

 

I recently had an epiphany. In a world of sharing, perhaps there are some things that are better left unshared.

Of course with each one of my milestones and accomplishments I want to let the world know about what I’ve done, but it occurred to me that perhaps I was doing all of these things to gain some type of validation from the outside world.

I mean, is it not enough to tell my close family and friends about my accomplishments, receive a congrats text, and just be happy with that? Must I update my FB status telling all my FB friends (most of whom are people from high school that I don’t even talk to anymore) that I have done something awesome in my life? Must I put everything that I have done in my instagram bio? Must I post every picture that me and the guy that Im dating at that time online so that the world knows who I am seeing? Must I post things riddled with hashtags so people can see who I am??? (#blackgirlMagic, #RoadToMBA, #blacknomad).

These are just some of the questions that I began asking myself and I realized that moving forward I want to dial back what I show to the world and the manner in which I discuss my accomplishments.

Am I proud of myself? Yes. Do I want people to be just as excited and happy as I am about me moving forward in my life? Yes. But there is a fine line between sharing and bragging and I don’t want to cross that line.

So with that being said I went on my instagram and cleared out my bio. I deleted any pictures of me and any significant other and I decided to just keep the photos that I felt relayed a message of happiness, joy, and fun.

Every living moment of my life doesn’t have to be put on display and some precious moments are better left to those that are close to me.

 

 

Back after a hiatus – Update

It has been a while since I have posted on here and the reason being I just got super busy with life. It takes a lot of effort to keep up with a blog.
With school quickly approaching I’ve been using my free time to complete all the pre-course work and assignments they have us doing all summer. I also quit my job to ensure that I have the time to complete all the work that needs to be completed before school starts as well as I wanted some rest/down time before the chaos of school really begins.

I decided that I wanted to take a trip to decompress and relax after I became unemployed. I had been going through stresses in regards to my personal life, job life, and school  life and felt as though a trip to get re-centered, recharged, and refocused would be the best thing. I decided to go and visit my family in Trinidad to do so.

My life as it is now is all about school and focusing on getting everything I need to get together by the time school starts. I am not going to lie, it has been a little overwhelming already and I feel extremely nervous to go back to school (I mean I have been out of school for 6 years), but every time I begin to feel this way I somehow push through and do what I have to do.

I will be posting a more thorough update on what has been going on in my life as well as pictures from my trip to Trinidad and my trip to Costa Rica that I never posted!

But in the mean time! Stay Blessed Friends!

Yayoi Kusama: Infinity Mirrors

“When we obliterate nature and our bodies with polka dots we become part of the unity of our environments” – Yayoi Kusama

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The great thing about living in a major city is that there is ALWAYS something new and fun to do.

The most recent hot spot in DC has been the Hirshorn for its Infinity Mirrors Exhibit! After a month of trying, I was finally able to get tickets to the the Yayoi Kusama: Infinity Mirrors exhibit. Although the tickets are free, they are extremely hard to get and they usually sell out in two minutes.

 

About the Exhibit

This specific exhibit, Infinity Mirrors, is called as such because of Kusama’s use of mirrors to give the illusion that the space is much bigger than it really is.  In all actuality, the art is broken up into small rooms and can only fit a small number of people in it at a time.

What you need to know before you go

Despite having timed passes the lines to visit each room is very long. The museum allows small groups of people to enter each room at a time and you are only allowed 20 seconds in each room. They do not allow you to bring in any bags, food or liquids into the rooms.

There is other art…

Although the Infinity rooms are the main attraction, the Hirshorn features other art from Kusama that allows for some really great photo ops as well.

Final thoughts of the exhibit

This exhibit is amazing. If you can get tickets I say go! The lines were a nuisance and because of it I wasn’t able to see every room. Having 20 seconds in a room was annoying because you couldn’t really get a chance to take in what you were seeing. By the time you had a chance to admire, and appreciate the art work, they were opening the door and carting in the next group. In order to ensure that you have some memories one needs to walk in with their camera in hand and start snapping away immediately. There is no time to think about your pose and perfect angle.

Although overshadowed, the free standing art is something to be admired as well especially the polka dot room. The polka dot room was my favorite space because each visitor was given a set of polka dot stickers and told to put them anywhere in the room!

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